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Pull up to the bumper baby

Updated: Jul 10, 2020

In your long black limousine.

  1. Spent oodles of money on all sorts of nail strengtheners, serums, nourishments, hardeners, conditioners... I just want my girl at Versailles Nail Shop…feels like we’re being punished... its not the same.

  2. Ordinarily I draw the line at fat shaming... and these are extraordinary times.. good on you, Nance!

  3. I don’t care if you are bored.. read something... anything.

  4. Every time I open my mouth, my mum comes out.… on top of everything else, now I’m slowly losing my identity.

  5. Yes, yes, yes, Adele.. well done.

  6. Gonna have to replace all my mascaras.. and break up with all my lovely lipsticks… so long my darlings.. passion plum, almost honey, van-de-rose, absolute fuchsia, ruby tuesday, cherry chic, nude petal.. mummy still loves you.

  7. That’s it, May 31 will officially stopped aging… will resume when I can officially celebrate my 50th in style... going to now see if I can Benjamin Button this sitch.

  8. Zoom calls are like being high in the old days.. did I say it outloud? Did they hear me? Nobody heard me? Should I say it again? Urgh.. do I only talk when my box has a yellow outline?

  9. I want an understudy.

  10. Yes, Adele.. I already congratulated you… how many more times do I need to tell you... you look absolutely amazing...not that you didn’t before... no, I didn’t mean it like that.


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