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Not vicious or malicious

Updated: Apr 28, 2020

Just de-lovely and delicious.

  1. Spilled toothpaste on top... not even worth changing... as long as its below zoom water mark who cares…dignity be gone.

  2. Someone inject disinfectant into his eyeballs, please.

  3. Bollocks...chin starting to look like a bull frog... seriously considering hypnosis now.

  4. Googling how to turn fridge into vending machine…could be contributing to kids’ college funds.

  5. Not entirely sure that is on the horizon anymore…might be liquidating their 529 accounts for University of Mommy Makeover.

  6. Process improvement for zoom wave: now tucking elbow in otherwise bingo wings flap seconds longer than actual wave… was starting to get car sick and wearing motion sick bands.

  7. Actually feeling like one big jello…wish I could just start eating myself thin.. massive design flaw if you ask me.

  8. Really... its 2pm...did you just wake up? I don’t care if you’re hungry...go in the kitchen and get it yourself.

  9. Helper child is turning into gangly man child during captivity…has grown six inches since SIP… his blond hair has gone, his balls have dropped, his pjs are floods and his feet are like flippers…and no housecleaner to change the sheets...most upsetting on so many levels..

  10. Yearn for the daily poetry of my old life “I’d recommend the swordfish… can I get you anything else…love this length on you…love this color on you…your skin looks beautiful.” Self flattery just doesn’t have quite the same ring.


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