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Updated: Apr 8, 2020

Going down the only road I've ever known...

  1. Forget portions… forks have now gone out the window too… been eating Swiss cheese directly from the brick...might need some kind of behavioral bootcamp in order to rejoin society again when all of his is over.

  2. Ice cream is the virus.. ice cream is the virus.. ice cream is the virus.

  3. On my list of things to do today: mental prep for putting on jeans Monday morning and facing the consequences. When’s Monday?

  4. Nabes are all out at 8pm howling into the night to honor our healthcare workers. I’m all in!

  5. Sleep and awake time in equal amounts now. Getting plenty of rest is a load of bollocks - I seem to be looking more and more haggard with each passing day.

  6. Did a 5pm zoom happy hour with the whole fam (possibly yesterday). The prep was similar to a job interview so they wouldn’t judge the seriousness of my deterioration and then escalate it to the grapevine.

  7. I think I managed quite gracefully “Yes, we are all happily co-habbitating. ..(mmm) No I’m not eating the fridge… (much) Yes, the kids are on top of their school work.. (not) Yes, I’m very grateful to John..(for my drinking problem)

  8. But I don’t want the fucking job…I just want it all to go back to normal. I’m not qualified for this…

  9. Even the instacart servants ask too many questions.. I don’t want substitutions.. I just want an effing case of TP and an effing case of sauvy-b. Period. Stop calling me. You are taking me away from my very important show about tigers on meth.

  10. No, thank you. I’m not joining your peppy online zumba/barre/yoga class… I would much rather day drink, binge watch and obsess over my ever expanding mid-drift…. Yes, really….They spark whatever joy I have left.


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